The 2009 Brainies Awards

The 2009 Brainies: theunibrain's First Annual Boxing Day Awards for Excellence In Entertainment and Stuff.

Death of the year
Carolyn: Michael Jackson. I still can’t believe it’s happened and I still half-think that it’s yet another of his media manipulations and he’ll “return from the dead” for a Comeback Tour in 2015.
Scott: There can be no disagreement here.

But without tragedy we wouldn’t have had:
Carolyn: Corey Feldman of The Two Coreys fame arriving to Jacko’s memorial dressed as… Michael Jackson
Scott: Or Marlon Jackson coming out of hiding. Oh, and MJ's kids being unveiled. So THAT's what Blanket looks like without a blanket over him!

Reunion of the Year
Carolyn: Seinfeld cast on Curb Your Enthusiasm – sure, it made no sense when the episodes aired out of order in Australia but it was hells worth it just for the exchange between Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld about Christopher Walken. “I don’t know why he was on the boat.” Damn straight.
Scott: Andy Dick and sobriety.

Movie of the Year
Carolyn: The Hangover cos next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.
Scott: Really the only movie I liked as much as The Hangover this year was Star Trek. Who ever would have seen that coming? Thanks JJ!

Worst Movie of the Year
Scott: In a year that brought us Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, Bride Wars, Land Of The Lost and The Lovely Bones, we were really spoiled for choice. But the winner has to be 2012; tired format, tired script, several decent actors totally slumming it. Paranormal Activity, meanwhile, was the least scary scary movie of all time. I fell asleep.
Carolyn: I saw Meg Ryan in The Women on DVD this year. Do not make the same mistake. However, the movie at the cinemas that made me the most angry was The Ugly Truth. Just a poor effort all round and that part with the hot air balloons? Are we even gonna pretend that wasn't green screen? I realise it's 2009 but how hard is it to take out a real hot air balloon and film it? Not very, I say. PS: 2012 was disaster-tastic and I didn't hate Bride Wars. Is that wrong?


Song The 'Brain CLEARLY made a huge hit (maybe): Sam Clark's "Broken". Well done Sam! Well done us! It's time to take another listen...




Australian star who would do well to get to America cos he's awesome: Sam Clark.

Stars we like the best who rhyme: Kylie and Miley

Stars we like the best who rhyme and who should thusly record a duet asap: Kylie and Miley.

Song of the Year
Carolyn: I want to give my vote to "3 Little Words" by Frankmusik but it was snatched out of his hands at the last minute by Lady Gaga’s "Bad Romance". Sorry Frankster.
Scott: I went to my iTunes play count for this answer. It was also Gaga! But very close runners-up are "Beat Again" by JLS, "Who Says" by John Mayer, "Break Your Heart" by Taio Cruz and "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks.

TV Show of the Year
Carolyn: I want it to be Glee but to be honest if it wasn’t for Jane Lynch, I wouldn’t still be watching. I hand my award to The Big Bang Theory (I heart Sheldon!) and give honourable mentions to Modern Family, Cougartown and Parks & Recreation.
Scott: It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Could not agree more with honourable mentions. Additional honourable mentions: 30 Rock, My Life On The D-List, The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty.

Far more entertaining off TV than on:
Scott: Home and Away. Oh my.
Carolyn: Two And A Half Men... his arrest is just unfolding but hey, it's Charlie Sheen and it's just GOT TO be more entertaining than on TV.

Best drunken TV host: Karl Stefanovic. His post-Logies hosting of the Today show was utter gold. He should be drunk EVERY DAY! And then come drinking with us.


Richard Wilkins Award for poor research: Richard Wilkins. On Today on the morning of Michael Jackson's death, Dicky reported an internet rumour about Jeff Goldblum dying as fact. Oops.

Award for franchise about vampires that we saw coming a mile off but it still exceeded belief: Twilight.

Couple who are clearly a couple but deny it: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. They are soooooooooo together. Totes.

Worst celebrity couple of 2009
Scott: Rihanna and Chris Brown
Carolyn: I hate everything about Katy Perry and Russell Brand and I can’t even tell you why. Oh hang on, yes I can: because they’re gawdawful!

Taylor of the Year
Carolyn: Swift.
Scott: Roger. (HA!)

Tweeter of the Year
Scott: John Mayer (I think I mean this)
Carolyn: Lindsay Lohan because she’s meltdown-tastic (and because Scott stole John Mayer and I don’t want this list to be too samey)

Worst Tweeter of the Year
Scott: It can only be Diddy. (I have to forgive Spencer Pratt because he unexpectedly started following me - his single redeeming feature!)
Carolyn: I agree. I have deleted Diddy for that very reason... but still his never-ending Tweets continue to appear. How? Damn you, Diddy! I also got rid of Anderson Cooper? Gone. So, let this be a warning to you, warbling Aaron Carter, you're the next to go...
Scott: I totally ditched AC (Aaron Carter, that is)!

Tweet of the Year
Carolyn: @greggrunberg: I don't understand Ashton when he Tweets in English, let alone in French.
Scott: @sarahksilverman: What a fun day! Today was the best anniversary of my family's murder EVER!

Person who has re-conquered TV and has to release some awesome new music now please: Dannii Minogue. (Having Beven, Mark, Vince and Nelson in the video is optional)

Compelling Sports Story of the Year
Carolyn: Tiger Woods delivered EVERYTHING to non-sports fans around the world. Scratches on his face? A car accident IN his driveway? His wife hovering over him wielding a golf club? A mistress in every port? TICK! TICK! TICK! aaaaand TICK!
Scott: Agreed! Although Brendan Fevola and Wayne Carey continue to impress with their efforts.

Insincere Apology of the Year
Carolyn: Chris Brown’s YouTube plea following his bashing of Rihanna. Are you kidding me, dude?
Scott: Daryl Somers after the Hey! Hey! blackface debacle. "I'm sorry IF any people were offended ... blah blah self-promotion, great ratings, Harry Connick Jr loves me, blah, blah"

Unexpected Surprise of the Year:
Carolyn: I cried in Up! but please don’t tell anybody.
Scott: I didn't become a millionaire.

The 2009 Awesomest person on the Planet Award: Alyssa Milano. The 'Brain agree that Twitter has been a revolution if for no other reason than it has put us back in touch with our childhood pal (hey, pals can live in the television, so back off!) and this year selfless Alyssa - star of such faves as Who's The Boss?, Melrose Place, Charmed and the Sheer Cover infomercials - has devoted herself to teaching newbies how the social networking site works. As a reward, we're hoping her new mid-season show Romantically Challenged - which incidentally stars The 'Brain's bestest pal Josh Lawson - is a huge hit. Sadly that will give her less time to Tweet. Sigh. Still, congrats on a fab 2009 from everybody at The 'Brain, Miss 'Lyss!


--
Carolyn Stewart & Scott Keenan,
I want your ugly, I want your disease o'clock, December 26, 2009

Vale Brittany Murphy

Remembering Brittany
Classic moments from a star gone too soon We at the 'Brain were deeply saddened to hear of the passing of Brittany Murphy at the age of just 32. We were lucky enough to meet Brittany a few times and it is safe to say that she was one of the sweetest, most engaging - if a tad erratic - celebs we've ever dealt with.

With Alicia Silverstone and Stacey Dash in Clueless

Brittany leaves behind a massive resume dating back to the classic teen comedy Clueless, through to Girl, Interrupted, Don't Say A Word, Riding In Cars With Boys, 8 Mile and Just Married. She also provided voices to Luanne in King Of The Hill and Gloria in Happy Feet.

King Of The Hill's Hill family (Luanne on far right)

We've collected a few of our favourite Brittany moments for you to see, including her single (a 'Brain favourite) "Faster Kill Pussycat" with Paul Oakenfold. The song topped the US dance chart in 2006. There's also her classic appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman in which she reacted to ex-boyfriend Ashton Kutcher hooking up with Demi Moore, and the trailers for Don't Say A Word featuring her iconic line "I'll never tell!" and Just Married in which she displayed her brilliant comic abilities.




Vale Brittany, you'll be missed.

Scott Keenan
I'll never tell o'clock

NEW CUTE VIDEO! Jake Gyllenhaal on Sesame Street

We all knew the celebrities were lining up for their turn on Sesame Street's 40th season but the final result for one of them is even cuter than we could ever have imagined. Check out the high-larious footage of Jake Gyllenhaal as he teaches the meaning of the word "separate"... with the help of his new octopus friend! Observe...

Awwww! And, just in case you missed it, here's a clip of his equally cute sis Maggie with a gaggle of the Sesame monsters from her appearance a month ago. Check it out...



Right, that's it. It's official. I wanna be a Gyllenhaal!


--
Carolyn Stewart
Separate away! o'clock, December 15, 2009

The Muppets and Andrea Bocelli perform Jingle Bells

More Muppets!
And some other guy
I just watched the Muppets perform "Jingle Bells" with Andrea Bocelli (ask your grandparents) on Jay Leno and, of course, because Jay is on NBC, and NBC hate youtube and foreigners (let's call them racists and be done with it), the video can't be posted here.

Luckily for us they'd already performed the same song (better) on a PBS Christmas telethon last week! Huzzah!



Our sometimes friend Deltra Goodman just toured with Andrea doing Christmas shows - does this mean she meant the Muppets and DIDN'T TELL US?

Scott Keenan
It's beginning to look a lot like a very Muppet Christmas o'clock

Rihanna and Andy Samberg on Saturday Night Live

Ri-Ri and Shy Ronnie
Not so live on SNL
Rihanna appeared on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and as well as performing two so-so songs from her so-so album, she also did a Digital Short with Andy Samberg.

The weirdest bit for me was that she lip-synced the whole thing. Why are her vocals always so processed? I mean, we all know she hasn't got the world's strongest voice, but in the context of a skit it played really weird.

Also: I'm not a fan of her new Military Ho makeover. The idea seems to be to try and make fatigues as slutty as possible (her soon-to-be-released video for "Hard" features her wearing a top made of bullets ... classy!). And the orange hair? Just no. She seems to be making some really odd choices right now music-wise and fashion-wise.

Anyway, watch...

Scott Keenan
Rihanna ... Shy Ronnie ... o'clock

THE KILLERS NEW CHRISTMAS SONG!

"Well, I woke up Christmas morning..."

I have a few key words for you about The Killers fourth annual charity Christmas single, my friends:

Luke. Freaking. Perry.

The next word is... observe:

"Happy Birthday Guadalupe" - The Killers

--
Carolyn Stewart
Put your feet up, baby, it's Christmas time o'clock, December 2, 2009