She Got Plucked!
Susan Boyle’s new look

"Nothing to see here - move along."
(pic: The Sun)

She’s done it!
Only hours after I pondered the big question – would Britain’s Got Talent break-out star Susan Boyle succumb to a make-over – the 48-year-old (evidently she had a birthday at some point) has taken it upon herself to work on her “look”.
First she found a pair of heals and a leather jacket, then she got her eyebrows done and now she’s had her wiry grey hair flat ironed and dyed “chestnut brown”.
This is despite the fact that BGT producers were apparently keen to stick with her dowdy look.

Certainly there was no posh London celebrity salon involved – Boyley popped down to the local parlour and forked out £5 for the brows and £35 for the new hairdo.

Buh-bye caterpillars

(pic: The Daily Mail)

I feel somewhat comforted that she has taken the makeover into her own hands and that it hasn’t come directly from execs, but one has to wonder how much the focus on her appearance has affected her (considering this is my second post on the subject, I am not shying away from my obvious direct link in her feeling the need to get her hair did).
But will the new look change people’s love for her? BGT judge Amanda Holden has already publicly stated Susan should stay au naturale.

“I won’t let Simon take her to his dentist,” Amanda said last week, “and I certainly won’t let her near his hairdresser. She needs to stay exactly as she is as that’s the reason we love her. She looks like anybody who could live on your street. The minute we turn her into a glamour-puss it’s spoilt.”

"These aren't the droids you're looking for."
(pic: The Daily Mail)

Taking to this showbiz lark like Lindsay to vodka, Susan got about town with her head covered in order to keep her new look under wraps. She will unveil the all-new superstar Susan at the upcoming Britain’s Got Talent semi-finals, Gretel Killeen-style (see story below).
Knowing they will have massive ratings no matter what Susan’s hair looks like, the show’s producers have defended the makeover.
“Susan’s a grown woman and can do what she likes with her hair,” pipped a spokey.
True, that.

Gretel’s Got Game

"Just wait there while I get my whip..."

Speaking of secret make-overs, this year’s Logies host Gretel Killeen is being very secretive about her new pixie haircut. So far she has only been pictured with a hat firmly covering her new crop, and Gretski has no intention of letting anyone see the new do before the big night.
“She wants to use the Logies as the big reveal of her new look after being off the radar for so long,” a “source” tells The Daily Tele.
Word is she’ll even wear a wig on her Rove appearance this weekend.
Nine publicity folk had to deal with her insisting upon wearing a hat in her Logies promo shoot. But looking at the photo – hardly the kind of pic glossies and newspapers will be thrilled with running to promote TV’s night of nights – that was the least of their worries. Completely dressed in black and wearing long leather gloves, Gretel dons a top hat and flops an unconvincing hair extension over her shoulder in a shot that leaves her looking like a dominatrix ringmaster.
This, on second thoughts, may be appropriate.
The thing about Gretel – that apparently the Logies organisers forgot – is that she does and says exactly what she pleases. Even if that means parading some of the worst outfits ever to be seen on Australian TV. But she doesn’t care, and that is why she is equally loved and hated by the public and industry types alike.

Scott Keenan

I had a make-over now I look like a clown o'clock

Susan Boyle: To make-over or not to make-over?

"...Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl..."

If you are on the internet right now, and all signs point to the fact that you probably are, then you have no business not knowing exactly who Susan Boyle is.

The dowdy 47-year-old Scot’s appearance (in more ways than one) on Britain’s Got Talent has become a sensation with over 100 million views of her performance on Youtube (Embedding of the video has been disabled, so you'll have to go there to see it), with even the US jumping on the bandwagon.

Susan, you see, has big unkempt hair, equally big unkempt eyebrows, wears nanna dresses and dared to gyrate her hips on stage having already announced she had never been kissed.

The tease!

It goes without saying that in normal life middle-aged ladies with bad hair can’t sing.

Just look at Madonna.

So imagine Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan’s collective horror when she started belting out “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables (perhaps they prefer “Master Of The House”?) and it sounded rather good.

Simon’s eyes lit up, realising he had just found the biggest novelty hit since Pop Idol’s Gareth “I can’t speak without stuttering but I can sing like an angel!” Gates, and you could almost see the cogs in his brain working as he imagined himself bathing in even more cash, and some time soon after wondered, “Do I pluck this woman to within an inch of her life, or leave her looking like Hagrid?”

Is her charm soley based on the fact that she can sing AND has bad eyebrows?

Simon knows that if he pushes her out now as-is he will make a killing (and you can bet he has already picked out the tracks for her new album and she will be in the studio before the BGT finale airs), but as a novelty act – which, let’s be honest, she will be in such a case – she is unlikely to go beyond a second album.

As an unemployed 47-year-old she will probably be quite happy to take her millions o’ quid back to her village and live the rest of her life with acclaim and the occasional appearance on I Love The ’00s specials.

But by sprucing her up, Simon risks having her loving public seeing her as a sell-out and turning on her, and that is far too big a risk to take, especially after Susan herself spoke out on the subject.

“Maybe I’ll consider a makeover later on,” she told The Times last week, leaving the door open to a new look for her second album. “For now I’m happy the way I am – short and plump. I would not go in for Botox or anything like that. I’m content with the way I look. What’s wrong with looking like Susan Boyle? What’s the matter with that?”

Still, Simon could always get a reality TV crew to start following her around immediately (and if he was a thinker he would) and it could all finish up with the best extreme makeover of all time!

Perhaps following her "secret" chats with Song/BMG, Susan has had a slight change of tune.

“I will need to sort out my dress sense and my weight,” she has now pipped to the Mirror. It wasn’t until I saw myself on TV that I realised how frumpy I was. It’s not a big thing – it doesn’t worry me too much – but I will be doing a bit more exercise to help me sort it out … I just want to look nice, and smart.”

Judging from their internet output a hell of a lot of Americans are desperate for her to be taken to with scalpels and tweezers (Susan Boyle: Bring On The Makeover! shouts E! Online, while USA Today pretends their beauty bias comes from readers; Debate: Should Susan Boyle get a makeover?), while the British like their new hero frumpy.

The UK tabloids are already splashing their front pages with mock-horror after Boyley dared to step out in a – shock! – leather jacket! “And you said you wouldn't change Susan Boyle” cries the Daily Mail.

"I hear this is what all the kids are wearing!"

What a load of old tosh.

Let’s be honest, at this stage nobody knows how Susan will handle the fame game, when it comes to looks or anything else. How will she deal with paps at her front door? And hangers-on offering her gak? We could very well be looking at the next Lindsay Lohan!

Stay tuned.

Scott Keenan

Do my eyebrows look big in this? o’clock