Spellings At War

“You killed your daddy!”
or: how NOT to reconcile with one’s daughter
It isn’t news that Tori and Candy Spelling have been publicly bickering and privately ignoring one another for some time now.
First it was Candy not approving of Tori leaving first husband Charlie Shanian for Dean McDermott, then it was Candy throwing Tori a pittance of inheritance cash when family patriarch Aaron died, then it was Candy not visiting her grandson Liam, and then Tori neglecting to invite Candy to meet her daughter Stella when she was born.

Tori and hubby Dean: mother doesn't approve

While Candy insists she wants to make up with her daughter, and Tori stopped short of bad mouthing her mother and instead said she would like her to be a part of her grandchildren’s lives, today’s events would indicate that a family reunion will never, ever, ever happen.
It might have something to do with Candy announcing on US radio that Tori KILLED her father, TV producer legend Aaron.
“My daughter one day decided that she wasn't speaking to my husband, myself and my son, and that's how it's continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years,” Candy blabbed on Springfield, Massachusetts radio station 94.7 WMAS.
“And it was sad, that's what killed my husband, actually. He just didn't want to live after that. He’d just done everything he could possibly do for his daughter, and she wanted no part of him once he couldn't do anything for her.”
This woman should be a diplomat or something. Or at very least Mother Of The Year!
Despite having all but called her daughter a murderer – for the record Aaron died following a stroke in 2006 aged 83 – Candy went on to say: “I've always been trying to work on the relationship. I don’t know what the anger is.”
SORRY?
The elephant in the room, and it’s a rather big elephant, is that during her husband’s last years Candy was “allegedly” having an affair with a house boy family friend named Mark Nathanson and Tori stopped talking to her in disgust.
While the affair has been widely reported in tabloids, Tori has only touched on the subject.
“I feel that at this point it’s all out there and it’s the truth. So what can they say now?” she writes in her book sTORI Telling. “That’s her truth to tell. I did resent it, but she was there for my dad. I did resent Mark’s relationship with our family. He’s no longer in our lives, including our mother’s.”
So by Candy’s logic Tori not talking to the family sent Aaron over the edge, but her banging one of his friends while he was at home in bed under medical supervision was just fine and dandy?
LOGIC FAIL!
Now I obviously don’t know either woman, so any character assessment I make is based purely on how they appear in the media. But for mine Tori seems eccentric but sweet and well-meaning, and Candy seems like a BATSHIT CRAZY BITCH.
Tori, whatever you have to say on the subject now, I can’t wait to hear it.

Scott Keenan
Which way to the gift wrap room o'clock?

Pringles and other addictive things...

A List Of Stupid Things So Addictive They Should Be Forced To Reveal Their Top-Secret Hidden Cocaine Content.

1. PRINGLES
They say it right there in their ad: 'Once you pop, you just can't stop.' Boy, is that true. While I'll pretty much eat any of them, I don't. Sour Cream & Onion flavour is the only one I ever buy... and then proceed to eat all of. Salad should take note from the humble Pringle: if you tasted more like that, I'd eat more of you. Simple, really.

2. ZAC EFRON
Sure, he's got nothing to say about anything and the only interesting things in his life he refuses to talk about but he's just so darn pretty. He's also, like, a way-tops dancer. Plus, I like how he always wears some sort of flannel shirt. It's cosy. Does he actually know there are other types of shirts available?

3. MY BOYS
This (CLICK ON ME!) is honestly the worst show on television. Possibly ever. Can I stop watching it? No.

4. TORI SPELLING'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY, sTORI TELLING
I am almost through 90210 alum Victoria Davey Spelling's book (that SK gave me for my birthday - ta muchly) and I, quite honestly never want it to end. She's awesome. Read an excerpt hither: (CLICK ON ME!) and then proceed to buy the whole book. You won't regret it. Especially if you want to know what Ian Ziering said to Shannen Doherty.

5. TWITTER
While this very morning I unfollowed Anderson Cooper (burn!), there are only a few people who I want to unTwit (Are you listening, Diddy? No, of course you're not. You're too busy sending tweets. every. five. seconds.). Twitter is equal parts boring, annoying and, luckily, fascinating. Did someone say stupid, trivial and a massive time-waster? Oooh! Where do I sign up?

6. POLAR BEARS
I want a polar bear. Is that so wrong? I could literally watch them for hours, which would be a plus if, you know, I actually got to own one. LOOOOOOOK: (CLICK ON ME!) Sure it doesn't know what it's own reflection is but maybe that's cos it can't believe it's never seen anything so cuuuuute before!

Over to SK, who will now no doubt attack Zac Efron for being a human oil slick. OK, SK didn't actually say that but he said something much like that just yesterday. Sure, there was alcohol involved but it doesn't mean he didn't say it... nor does it mean he won't defend it.

--
Carolyn Stewart
I-need-some-lunch o'clock, March 18, 2009