Billy Bob Thornton is an ass

The interview that cost Billy Bob all his fans

The fact that Billy Bob Thornton is a social and emotional retard seems to have gone virtually unnoticed since the good ol' days of exchanging blood vials with then-fun Angelina Jolie. Well, he's back. Thanks to an interview with incredibly impressive (and patient!) host Jian Ghomeshi of Canadian radio station CBC, Billy Bob has once again proven what we already knew: he's a complete and utter ass.

BBT appeared on the radio show today to promote his electric hillbilly band The Boxmasters. Just to state the completely obvious so that we're all on the same page: The Boxmasters's biggest (and only) claim to fame is that their singer is Oscar-winner Billy Bob Thornton (he won for writing Slingblade not acting, fact fans... but we'll come back to that). Sadly, problems arose when Jian did his job and introduced the band by mentioning the actor-turned-musician had a successful acting career but music was his first love. Oh, the horror! BBT then went mega-mental, pretended he didn't know what the host's perfectly coherehent questions meant and sulked that the host had been "instructed" not to mention he had "previously" been an actor. O... K... In watching the footage of the whole sorry affair, I have to say that it escapes me exactly how BBT has been nominated for anything let alone twice for Best Actor at the Oscars. If he really is trying to convince the host that he's never been in a movie before, it's a bafflingly poor performance. Don't believe me? Check it out...

Wait, wait... just before you click, I must say this: what you're about to watch is amongst the longest, most painful interviews ever. It honestly hurts to watch at times. As somebody who has done a fair few interviews, this is a classic example of a journalist's worst nightmare. I believe the technical term is: going pear-shaped. If you're in print media, these disasters are rarely caught on film and, hence, the interviewee can often get away with outrageous demands, attitude or threats without fear of their fans finding out what a git they really are. Summary? I'm absolutely THRILLED that this was recorded.

Watch the interview where Billy Bob Thornton loses it

Welcome back. What an ass, right? Wow. Did you seriously just compare yourself to Tom Petty, you giant tool? Even his band "mates" look embarrassed.

The best bit? The whole escapade with BBT not being able to perform because he didn't bring in his drumkit (isn't he meant to be the singer as well so he could just, erm, sing?) because it's 6 in the morning is pretty hard to ignore. However, I think my hands-down favourite part is his ludicrous answer to the musical influences question. The ensuing long - yet oh-so-pointless - story about building plastic model monsters from Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine when he was a kid actually made me wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

By the way, gosh, I was so surprised that this random "musician" dude just mentioned being interested in film magazines when he was younger. I wonder if this guy's ever thought about acting?

Carolyn Stewart
I'm a music historian too o'clock, April 9, 2009

Twittergate:
Hugh Jackman busted faking it

Hugh's first twitpic: But who posted it?

There has been a lot of excitement in Twitterland about Hugh Jackman arriving on Twitter. But less than 24 hours later I am set to delete him, after he admitted at today’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine press conference in Sydney that he dictates his Tweets over the phone to minions in the US.
Firstly, how is this easier than sending them as a text?
And, secondly, are we to seriously believe that he phones in all of these tweets?
At least Britney’s Twitter page says: “We’ve got updates from her team, her website and yes, even Britney herself”. Because you know Spearsy is a Xanax-fuelled robot controlled by daddy now, and they don’t want her tweeting “SAVE ME!!!!!!” all day.
The tip-off to Hugh’s fakery came when Sydney born-and-bred “Hugh” referred to the Opera House as the “Opera Centre” in one of yesterday’s tweets.
When asked today about the confusion, Hugh flashed his pearly whites - instantly rendering a vast majority of the 600 assembled media incapable of independent thought - and explained the "mix-up".
“I communicated it over the phone and when that got translated by someone American in my office it came out all wrong,” he said. “I do know the Opera House is called the Opera House - I think I had my high school leaving assembly at the Opera House when I was 18 so I should know that one.”

Yes you should. You should also do you own tweets! Especially when your minions aren’t even dictating correctly.

"How can I tweet with these claws?"

The fact he doesn’t tweet personally also means that Hugh never actually sees the messages from his followers – which surely is a good half of the point.
Instead it seems lackeys pass over token tweets for his reply (at least this is what he would like us to believe). So far these seem to be answers to “how do you stay so fit?” and “I can’t wait to see your movie!” Yawn.
(The replies? "eat every three hours throughout the day. mate, no beers!" and "Thanks mate! You will not be disappointed..." Note ample use of the word "mate" for added "authenticity")
Hugh, there isn’t a single unlikeable thing about you, but this Twitter situation really is not good enough. If Diddy can send 5000 tweets a day between tantric sex sessions, all-white parties and reappropriating ’80s hits as his own work, surely you can too.
Learn how to text or give the whole thing up.
Scott Keenan
I write my own tweets o'clock

André Rieu on Neighbours and more...

The Five Most Bizarre Things That Happened In The Last 24 Hours

1. André Rieu appeared on Neighbours
The most famous boring person in the world arrived by limo to Ramsay Street tonight and played his violin for Paul and Rebecca. The whole premise was gloriously ridiculous, which I am whole-heartedly for. However, it's just a shame the guest star wasn't someone fun. Meanwhile, I maintain that "André Rieu" is actually Bruce Willis in a wig. Look at the facts: Bruce hasn't worked (in anything worth watching) in recent years. "André's" career has skyrocketed in recent years. Bruce always harps on about loving jazz music but was upset his albums didn't do that well. "André" realises money can't be made off jazz and that the people really want violins. Bruce was born in Germany. "André" can speak German. Bruce is... secretly "André". Think about it.

2. Chris Brown pleaded not guilty
Despite being charged with two felonies for the alleged assault on Rihanna, Chris Brown appeared in court today and actually pleaded "not guilty, your honor." Seriously? We all saw those pictures, right? The fact that Chris himself admitted he was "sorry and saddened" by the incident about a week after it happened doesn't seem to have come up. Unbelievable.

3. Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's shotgun wedding.
As the good-looking pair - he's totally better looking than she is but I digress - exchanged vows in Costa Rica, one of Gisele's bodyguards fired gunshots - GUNSHOTS! - at the paparazzi eager to get a snap of the proceedings.
“At that moment, I thought was going to die,” says shot-at photographer Rolando Aviles “The bullet went between us, missing our heads. If the bullet had been a little more to the left or right, it would have killed one of us.”
It's dreadful but... I. Love. It. Is that wrong?

4. Wolverine-er Hugh Jackman joined Twitter
I know this is a thing of chocolatey-goodness but it's kinda weird when famous people of employ join. I mean, how will poor Hugh Jackman compete with the inane twittering madness of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's 50,000 tweets a day? Anyway, if you wanna find him, tweet on over to: Twitter.com/RealHughJackman. Sample tweet so far: "Great day catching up with family." Yawn. Time to step it up, scissor hands.

5. DJ is all growned up.
Candace Cameron Bure - that's DJ Tanner of Full House fame to you - is 33 today. The sister of Growing Pain's pin-up Kirk's birthday is April 6 so, in the US, she's partying right now. THIRTY THREE. Cut.. It.. Out!
These days, CCB is married, a mother of three and writes a monthly column for Christian Women Online [CLICK ON ME!]. In happier news, she's thankfully returning to TV in the upcoming Perfect 10 about a group of teen hopefuls as they train for the Olympics. Does that sound a bit too much like like the old Aussie Heath Ledger/Martin Henderson show Sweat? Yes, it does. She plays the "step-mom" of someone. Still, whatever it takes to get her back on TV is fine with me. Happy birthday, CCB!

Carolyn Stewart
André Rieu o'clock, April 7, 2009

Does anybody else remember ... ?
Jonathan Lipnicki EditionI hated Jerry Maguire. I have often said it is the worst movie of all time (this is a much bigger issue for another day), but the one thing I did love about that overly long mess was Jonathan Lipnicki. You know, the tiny little nerdy kid who played Renée Zellweger’s son Ray and out-acted Tom Cruise in every scene they shared.
I went from bored to angry and then suddenly delighted whenever he appeared, sharing his amazing four-year-old insights.

Remember these amazing quotes?
“Do you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?”
“Do you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?”
“Do you know that my next door neighbour has three rabbits?”, and
“You said fuck.”
GOLD!
You can relive some Jerry now, but be warned, this scene features an Operating Thetan.

He followed up Jerry with films like Stuart Little and its sequel, Like Mike and (my personal favourite) The Little Vampire. He even made a notable guest appearance on Dawson’s Creek and was in Bronson Pinchot’s Mork & Mindy rip-off Meego.

But where is he now?

Well Jonathan, now 18, looks a little different to back in the day …
…the glasses (and, err, shirt) are gone … wonder about the speech impediment?

While Jonathan hasn’t starred in a main stream flick in years, his website claims to be “coming soon”, and imdb says the flick Queen Kong is awaiting release. Can’t wait for that one.
He also stars in the new online series Brohan, which you must watch now!
While you're youtubing, you can also see him competing in a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu bout. No, really!

Come back Jonathan! You might be all scary big and old now, but there has never been a better time for a sequel to The Little Vampire!

Is that Irony?
Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney (they were in some '60s band) reunited on stage at Radio City Music Hall in New York for a charity which promotes transcendental meditation to school children.
Seriously.
Anyway, the pair teamed up for Ringo to sing “With A Little Help From My Friends”. I was delighted that he sang the line “I will try not to sing out of key” completely out of key.
Life is magic.

Scott Keenan
Daylight saving is over all is right with the world o'clock

Kylie Minogue says she has had botox

BOTOX WARS!

Kylie
vs
Nicole

Kylie Ann Minogue has finally actually admitted that she has used Botox in the past. Thanks, Captain Obvious. My only issue is that she said "in the past" because she's seemingly still a user but I will let that slide since she finally actually said it. This news - which in itself is not shocking but the fact she admitted it kinda is - reminded me of Nicole Mary Kidman (who is clearly Botoxed within an inch of her life) previously stating that she's totes natural and has never had anything done ever. Bitch, please. We've all seen BMX Bandits. At the very least we know you've got an out of control mass of ginga hair that you straighten and colour. Then there's the question for the ages: where have all your bazillions of freckles gone? As for all the rest, quite frankly, luv: you're a liar. I really think I would just prefer it if, like Kyles, she just said, "Yeah, this is what I do. What of it?" Respect.

Below is a handy summary of what the two - who coincidentally both starred in Moulin Rouge where they eagerly exchanged plastic surgery tips on set (OK, I made the end of that sentence up) - have said on the pressing matter so you can decide the best approach for yourself.

WHAT KYLIE (now) SAYS ABOUT BOTOX (which I must admit has an April Fool's Day feel about it but let's say they are real quotes for now):
* "I'm definitely not one of those people who says, 'You shouldn't do this.' Everyone individually can do what they want."
* “I also think it doesn't have the stigma that it had when I was growing up. For all time women have wanted to, for the most part, look their best."
* "It's just that what we have available to us today is - what it is today. I'm preferring to be a lot more natural these days. I've tried Botox, I've tried all."

WHAT NICOLE SAYS ABOUT BOTOX (coincidentally looking surprised the whole time cos she can't move her face cos of all the Botox):
* "To be honest, I am completely natural. I have nothing in my face or anything. I wear sunscreen, and I don't smoke. I take care of myself. And I'm very proud to say that."
* "Anybody can do anything to themselves, their bodies. I have no judgment on it. I personally believe in physical health because of the way I was raised. I can't go in the sun; I'm fair skinned. That was a nightmare when I was a kid, but it has some benefits now. It's that simple. I still had one skin cancer on my leg, because I put my legs in the sun."

I say the Kidman lady doth protest too much. Just come clean.
Advantage Minogue.

Carolyn Stewart,
Stop saying the starter disk is full or I'm going to cry o'clock, April 3, 2009