What stars are really thinking...
By Psychic Scott
Just tonight I discovered a gift - I can read the thoughts of celebrities.
That's right, the actual minds of almost actual celebrities.
I actually know EXACTLY what they are thinking at any given time. Spookily enough, it is usually the kind of thing they are far too scared to say aloud.
Lucky I'm here to share their deepest thoughts on their behalf!
Robert Pattinson
"Hello I'm Robert Pattinson! I'm kinda like 1989 Johnny Depp, but no charisma or shampoo."
Shakira
"Hello I'm Shakira! My new single 'She Wolf' has disco guitars AND disco strings in it. Brilliant, right? Unfortunately it also has me singing. FAIL."
Sugababes
"Hi we're the Sugababes! We were so busy ripping off Right Said Fred in our new single 'Get Sexy' that we forgot to write a chorus. Oops!"
So there you have it readers - the TRUTH!
You can bet Psychic Scott will be back with some more readings soon!
Scott Keenan
Zing! o'clock
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