Movie review: Monsters vs Aliens

Monsters vs. Aliens
REVIEW

What is it? The latest animated feature from Dreamworks where monsters take on, well, aliens... but in 3D! The first "monster" we meet is Susan (voiced by Reese Witherspoon), who is your average gal until she becomes a giant on her wedding day and is renamed Ginormica. When she is whisked away by the government, she meets the other monsters: a mad-scientist cockroach (Hugh Laurie), a giant caterpillar, the Missing Link (Will Arnett) and a brainless blob named B.O.B (short for bicarbonate ostylezene benzoate, natch. Voiced by Seth Rogen). When evil aliens arrive to destroy everything in their path, the president (voiced by Stephen Colbert) calls on the monsters to take them on in the ultimate battle.
The tops part: You get to wear 3D glasses!
The untops part: After about half an hour, I was annoyed by the ill-fitting 3D glasses. They hurt just behind my ears. Not real pain but you know that dull, annoying kind of pain that is just there and you become obsessed with wanting it to stop but can't be bothered doing anything about it? Yeah, it's that... for one and a half hours.
Does it really need to be in 3D? Mmm... hate to be a killjoy but not really. There is an awesome part at the beginning where a geeky scientist dude bounces a ball in the audience's direction, plus every now and then there's a cool battle with bits flying everywhere but, other than that, it's just a gimmick. But it's a good gimmick. Like, it was more necessary to have the glasses than in that horrible Hannah Montana concert movie thing - that was really just wasting everyone's time.
The AWESOME thing this movie has in common with Shrek The Third, Horton Hears A Who and Kung Fu Panda: The voice of Seth Rogen. He says of when he was approached about doing the character, "I have only one voice I do... this... so I told them when they first talked to me about it, 'Well, if you want the character to sound exactly like me then I'm the perfect guy for this. If you have any other aspirations, you'll probably have to get someone else'." Luckily sense prevailed. Aside: I just love, love, love Seth's voice. It's awesome. It's like Fozzie Bear but sexy. Anyway, Seth's B.O.B. is hilarious and faultless from start to finish.
The thing this movie has that no other animated movie should EVER have: David Koch. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Good Lord, people, Kochie's voice is grating enough on morning television in real land without him playing a presenter in cartoon land. Let's never have this happen again. I had been hoping to learn that he only plays the reporter in the "Australian" version of the film and it was a different reporter for every region but some googling revealed: Noooooo. Seriously, world, I'm sorry you've been inflicted with him.
Question without an answer: When bride-to-be Susan is struck by a meteor that turns her glowing and giant, why does her hair go from brunette to blonde? It's weird.
Are all the best bits in the trailer? Some of them are but thankfully not all of them... yet.
Will kids like it? Yes. There was giggling and squealing aplenty at the screening I was at.
Is it the best animated movie I've ever seen? No. My heart belongs to Toy Story, a bit to Nemo and I was mesmerised by Horton Hears A Who.
Is it the best animated movie of the last five years? I liked Horton better but it is second, I think. I wanted to love Wall-E but the truth is I heart the Wall-E trailers - I still love the idea of it and it started cute enough... but was long and got stupider as it went on.
You'll like this: If you like this kind of thing.
See it? Yeah, go on...

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Carolyn Stewart
What a revolting day and it's still not over o'clock, March 26, 2009