REVIEW: Star Trek

The all-new less nerdy "Motion Picture"
What is it?: The all-new reimagining of the original Star Trek series via super genius JJ Abrams!! Let’s face it, Star Trek had become a bloated mess with so many spin-offs that only the die-hards cared (cue angry e-mails), and studios much prefer their franchises to make them cash. Cue re-boot! Yes, they’re all younger, hotter and funnier than before! Just as nerdy, it must be said. But not in such a way that will scare away the masses, which is a nice change.
Leonard Nimoy is in it?: Yes, the old Spock plays a future version of the new Spock (Zachary Quinto), accidentally sucked into a black hole. I found the whole premise a bit distracting, but I had almost forgiven them by the end. It handily washed away the previous series as an “alternate reality”, you know, where Kirk is fat and hammy, the aliens look like rubber and the technology sucks.

Who else?: Chris Pine, who was in Just My Luck with Lindsay Lohan and McFly, plays the new Captain Kirk, and is pretty damn awesome. Even more awesome (almost) is that his dad George is played by “our” Chris Hemsworth. The former Home and Away star impresses with his minimal screen time. From me annoying him at the pub to this – don’t say I don’t make massive Hollywood careers!
Rounding out the cast are John Cho from Harold and Kumar as Sulu, Anton Yelchin (Byrd from Huff) as Chekov, Simon Pegg (Spaced, Shaun Of The Dead) as Scotty, Karl Urban doing his best work since Shortland Street as Bones and Zoë Saldaña as Uhura – mercifully finding herself another franchise after mysteriously disappearing from The Pirates Of The Carribean. Tyler “Madea” Perry also has a surprise role as the head of Star Fleet and Eric Bana plays the baddie Nero (who, it should be noted, is no Poida).

The Space Wiggles?
Anton, Chris, Simon, Karl, John and Zoë

WINONA RYDER!: Winny takes a break from getting hopped up on meds and stealing jackets from Saks to play Spock’s mother. It’s funny, they can beam people from place to place, but they still can’t do realistic old people make-up.
Is it the new Star Wars?: Let’s see, we meet James T. Kirk, who lives in the shadow of his late father, a Star Fleet captain, in small town Iowa (or “Tatooine”). Then one day he meets no-nonsense Uhura (or “Leia”) at a bar (or “Mos Isley Cantina”) and is soon convinced by Captain Pike (or “Obi-Wan Kenobi”) to join Star Fleet (or “the Rebel Alliance”) himself. Later Kirk gets stuck on an ice planet (or “Hoth”) and is attacked by a snow beast (or “Wampa”). That aside, I wish JJ had done the Star Wars prequels.

Sadly I couldn't find a pic of Chris Hemsworth in character, so this one of him at the pub will have to do.

Has it saved the franchise?: Oh yes. Look, I watched Star Trek as a kid and was never a big fan. Even as a seven-year-old it seemed crappy. Remember the movie where they come back to Earth - in the '80s - to save the whales (or something)? WHAT?! Of course I have since come to appreciate things such as the first real multi-racial cast on TV (Is there even a cast that diverse on TV now? I mean, Grey’s Anatomy doesn’t have a Scot or a Russian), but it is still boring (sorry nerds). But not any more! I will quite happily sit through the sequels. Hell, I’ll even look forward to them.
See it?: You probably need to.

Scott Keenan
It's life Jim but not as we know it o'clock