DVD review: The Women *
* Helpful one line summary: do NOT watch it
What is it? A 2008 update of a classic comedy flick that pre-dates Sex And The City about four sassy women... that should never have been made and is now on DVD
Who's in it? Meg Ryan (looking back, that should have been the first alarm bell), Jada Pinkett-Smith, Annette Benning and Debra Messing. One's a fashion designer, one's an author, one works at a magazine, one has children and a fifth one is Eva Mendez. It's not even worth me going into which is which, believe me.
Is it the new Sex And The City? Hahahahahahaha. No... but it is the new worst movie ever.
The tops part: I got excited at one point that perhaps the whole point of the movie was that there are no men in it. At all. But then that kinda changed so... hmmm, no best bit.
The untops part: It's hard to pinpoint. In short, it was the most horrifically ridiculous, pointless, poorly-shot, heinously-edited and ludicrously-scripted "movie" that has been made this side of 1990. Plus, Meg Ryan's laughable big hair was seemingly necessary for no other reason than to conceal the scars she picked up years ago when she had her "alleged" facial surgery. But even the giant Marge-Simpson-mega-perm hair could do little to cover up her freakish clown lips. Although, I have to admit my eyes being drawn to the creepy-yet-mesmerising plumped lips actually became sweet relief from the horror of the nothingness that was unfolding on screen.
You actually wrote this review to get me not to watch a movie? Yes.
Couldn't anything have been done to make it better? Yes. The DVD could have snapped in half during the opening credits and we would have been spared the violation that would follow.
Is it really the worst movie ever made? Yes.
Is it worse than Raise Your Voice? Ooooh, unfair question. I naturally tend to exclude anything starring Hilary Duff from lists of this nature because I quite like Hils as a person.
Why did you hire it? It was an accident. I was with a couple of my peeps and we were trying to hire a DVD that we all hadn't seen (someone had seen everything) and that also didn't feature vampires (as per the same person's request). With a repeat viewing of Twilight sadly out of the picture, I've gotta say, it was slim pickings. Anyway, we settled on The Women. It was a kinda good cast and it seemed kinda fun. It wasn't.
Did you all hate it? Yes. We agreed it was the worst movie ever made. But, I will admit that, in its favour, it is at least an hour shorter than Waterworld.
Why are you telling me this now? Well, weeks have passed and today one of my pals went to her local DVD dealership and was horrified when she realised that EVERY COPY OF THE WOMEN WAS OUT.
So? So, right now, at this very moment, someone is suffering through the very movie that we once did. This cannot continue to happen.
But what can I do? Well, the three of us have taken a solemn oath that if we see someone thinking of renting, purchasing or watching The Women for free (or even illegally downloading, I've gotta add), we must speak up and tell them how bad it is. As my pal says, "Bad movies get watched when good people stand by and say nothing. If you see something, say something." Please, join us in our crusade. The end of The Women starts now... and we need your help.
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Preview: Pixar's Up trailer
What is it? Pixar’s 3D offering Up, that will be the first animated movie to open at Cannes, y'all!
Is it going to be good? Yuh-huh. Despite being wounded by several disappointing animated flicks of late, this just looks sooooo cute!
Really? I think so. Though I am easily distracted by coloured balloons and talking dogs.
Observe:
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From The Vault *
* that, ahem, now includes stuff recorded yesterday
"A Dustland Fairytale" - The Killers
Check out the awesomeness that is Brandon Flowers and band (which they should totally rename themselves) on Dave last night...
Tops! I love you, Brandon, but could we think about purchasing a new jacket at this point? Is it a case of you having a one-jacket-per-album policy? If so, we might need to have a meeting to change that or perhaps look at getting a better jacket in the beginning if it has to last through 12 months or so of touring and appearances. Just sayin'...
Carolyn Stewart
Do not watch The Women PLEASE o'clock, May 13, 2009
Posts
1. I think under the heading 'Who's in it?' you should add 'Meg Ryan's lips'. I also second that you can't compare to anything Hilary Duff is in - the key thing about this movie being bad is that the cast (there's some Oscar winners in there I think) lead you to believe it must be half decent. But it's not.
ReplyDelete2. Must say I feel a little under attack in this posting. Though I will add that my exclusion zone extended to anything involving violence, animation or Jared Leto - so it really was me who caused this attach on our senses.
Um, I would like to point out that I didn't hate Raise Your Voice. Mostly because I have an inexplicable liking for Ritter the Younger.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the worst thing about this movie is that it's a remake of a totally kick-ass movie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Women_(1939_film)) and this was so deeply unnecessary.
But I haven't seen it, so will not comment further.
hahah you had me at "helpful one line summary..." i actually couldnt agree more with every point you make. I think the insult is so bad because it could have been so good haha. Love your sympathy to the un-educated and how in a pay it forward kind of way we need to let everyone know that yeah, do not watch this film.
ReplyDeleteWatching it to the end hurt alot. Purely out of respect for the cast i saw it through to the end.
Love anything Disney - looks fun.
aaahhhh... well the band is called the killers... so he wears the jacket until he has ... killed it.