Britney Spears Down Under

Britney’s three ringed circus comes to town
And we’ll be stalking K-Fed!Last night the long-rumoured Australian leg of Britney Spears' Circus tour was finally confirmed.
While it was just pointed out to me that if I were to get free tickets it could be a delightfully snarky live Tweeting event, I have little interest in going.
I mean, who wants to see a drugged out Britney mime badly amongst a mess of 50 dancers dressed as clowns?
Apparently plenty of people. Especially the ones who snagged tickets for £2 when seats at her London show at the 02 failed to sell out. Oops!
The press release declares the show has had “raves reviews” [sic], which might possibly be true with crowds easily distracted by shiny metal objects.
The Sun called the show “a girl walking around, flicking her hair and miming to some average pop songs”, and suggested the cast-of-thousands were a blessed distraction from the star.
“In the list of the best things about last night's O2 gig, Britney would struggle to make the top five. The choreography, dancers and set were top class but blonde Britters parading in her undercrackers was completely uninspiring. Madonna is twice her age and does double the dancing.”

Snapped The Guardian, “The audience can't possibly have turned up in order to hear her greatest hits sung live, given that everyone seems to accept that Spears isn't singing live - certainly there are moments when Spears could no more obviously be miming were she wearing white face make-up and pretending to walk against the wind.”

Husband No.3?

But they weren’t all bad:
“She is the queen of production line pop and reclaims that diamanté crown with the most perfectly plastic pop show ever staged,” said London’s Daily Telegraph.
Britney is very easy to slag off, but really she doesn’t try very hard, does she? In fact, she seems to put very little effort into her career at all. Sure, going on a long tour is a tiring and all-consuming commitment, but she is just going through the motions. She has been doing this stuff for ten years and she is well beyond caring. You know, if with all the meds her conservatorship have her on she even has the ability to care.
“I’ve wanted to tour Australia for quite some time and now it's finally happening," pips the person writing the press release Britney. "My Circus tour is the best show I have ever created and I can't wait to perform it for all of my Australian fans. See you guys soon!”
Mostly I just can't wait to play spotto with her ex-hubby Kevin Federline in town. K-Fed is pocketing a cool $30,000 to look after the couple's two young sons on the tour.
We'll be hanging out at the zoo and KFC to see him.

Britney's last Down Under appearance

I was “lucky” enough to attend a showcase Britney did in Sydney in 2001, which was more than enough. Due to rain her planned outdoor gig at the Entertainment Quarter (then Fox Studios) had to be moved inside to The Forum (then City Live), where she mimed and danced away to four songs. The only problem was the hundreds (she was no longer cool enough to draw thousands) of whiny Britney fans who couldn’t fit inside and were left booing loudly in the rain.
Eventually, trying to avoid a PR disaster, they decided to take Britney out to say hello to her fans. She stood on stage and said about three words, and then declared it was the birthday of one of her dancers and sang (live!) one of the most out-of-tune renditions of "Happy Birthday To You" you’ve ever heard. Well, since the last birthday you went to with your tone deaf drunken uncle. Tragic/awesome.
Oh, which reminds me of the premiere of her fillum Crossroads on that same trip! Guests, seated in the cinema, waited for ages for Britney to turn up – Had she been talking to fans on the red carpet for hours a la Tom Cruise? No she had been sleeping at her hotel – only for her to walk in, say “I hope you enjoy this film as much as I did making it” and promptly leave again. Then we had to sit through the freaking movie!
Okay, I’ll stop now.

Scott Keenan
Oops!...o'clock